Saturday, May 3, 2008

Fighting the Addiction

Have you ever felt your heart beat so fast, that it felt like it was coming out of your chest? If so, you may have found true love, but this is not a story of finding true loves kiss. What I have written for you today, is a true story about my addiction to Red Bull and how it all began.





This is a picture of my father, creator of the artificial heart and Red Bull. In 1993, my family moved 500 miles from Deutschland to Bosnia in order to escape governmental suppression to continue my fathers research. It was at this point in my life where I experienced what it meant to be poor and surrounded by poverty. It was also at this point in my life where my fathers evil schemes began to be unveiled.







A few days after my 8th birthday in 1995, my father had finally finished his research on his new energy drink product, Red Bull. It was the first time I had laid eyes on that beautiful blue and silver shinning can, and I can still remember how it called out to me. Against my fathers wishes and warnings that I would surely die from heart disease if I drank from the silver and blue can, I picked up the Red Bull and began to drink. Its powerful affects were almost immediate and I began to feel my heart beat faster, and faster with each and every passing moment. However, within a short span of time, I felt the urge to have another, and another after that. The addiction had begun.




Ten years had past since the beginning of my secret addiction, and my father was soon to let me in on a secret plan that the world would soon need him. He told me that this Red Bull was slowly killing the hearts of all his consumers and that this new artificial heart he had created would be their only chance to survive! Disgusted at this revelation, I punched him in the face with some mace and fled the country to Amerika, where I live to this day coping with my addiction problems...

14 comments:

Dani said...

This is the funniest, I mean most tragic story I have ever read. Your grade will be posted after others leave feedback and comments.

~*Hannah*~ said...

I had know idea you were going through something like this!
are you really going to stop drinking this stuff? I mean, this is just helping your fathers plan if you keep drinking it, what If someday you end up needing one of those artificial hearts? what then? he may not give you one for punching him.....unless you can get one elsewhere

Kelly Spezzano said...

Well, I am glad to know, that at least the red bull doesn't effect the imagination!

Great First-time blog! Hope you kick the addiction, soon!

HAHA

Brittany said...

Great blog! Glad to see you joining us!

Lil. Bit said...

This is hilarious! Glad to see you are coming into the blogging world. Hope to here more from you later.
Fight the Addiction! You Can Do It!!!

Kelly Spezzano said...

Don't you think it's about time for a NEW POST????

~*Hannah*~ said...

Kelly is sooooooo right...

you are going to get like hundreds of comments from people waiting for a new post

Anonymous said...

Gooten Tag, heir Jochen;
Vas is los. Ish liken der nicen music. Goot chosen. Der beaten is nice. Ish rememberen your PaPa. Very gooten Red Bull. Nix effecten on me. Looking more to posten soon. schnell....

Der Comrad
Borrowed Opah

Dani said...

Even borrowed dad speaks some German!

POST AGAIN NOW!!!

Anonymous said...

Achtung;
Red Bull Hast Goten Jochen's Tonge. OOffta, ish mustav bein worst than furst thought. Nix, Nix, Nix. You musta visit Dr. Pepper at once. Do You Ferstain? I fear Trip to singing schul and more red bull will be detriminal to Blog. Much snell. Be aware of der bull by horne. Dr. Pepper eist goot. Hopen you haben Z gooten time at singing schul. Rememberen " Shortens mustav be belowen nees, and Belton must be above Wasiten.

Der Comrad
Borrowed Opah

~*Sara*~ said...

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLOG!

Dani said...

You lie!!!! You promised a blog yesterday.

Lil. Bit said...

So I'm still waiting on that post about work! :]
Bethany

Kelly Spezzano said...

Joshua is going to be writing blogs before you ever post again... COME ON MAN!! :P